please do xx
happy?
i truly don’t remember what the feeling of happiness is. i don’t remember the last time i was happy. i only remember the dark days. i can’t remember a time where i didn’t have flashbacks from flashing white lights, where i don’t see people that aren’t there, when there’s not random voices in my head, when i’m not paranoid, where i don’t want to kill myself every second of the day. I don’t remember how to function in the everyday world. i think i’m so used to being this way that i don’t want to change.
I just realized I’ve survived everything I’ve ever encountered in life. I have a 100% survival rate. I’m fucking nailing it.
